In The Apprentice, if you want a shot at walking the walk, you’ve got to prove in your application that you can talk the talk.
It’s practically a contractual requirement that those hoping to secure Lord Sugar’s £250,000 business investment can spout a load of boastful rubbish at will, while still coming across as having a modicum of common sense.
The latest set of candidates don’t disappoint – within five minutes, they prove themselves as some of the most hilarious and ridiculous ever, as they declare themselves to be the greatest things since sliced bread.
See our pick of the top ten hilarious quotes from the first episode of the new series in the gallery above.
There’s Richard Woods, self-declared “Swiss army knife”. Or what about the “disgustingly ambitious” Elle Stevenson?
On the more self-deprecating end of the scale is Chris Addison lookalike Dan Callaghan, who admits that he’s “made every mistake in the book”. Oops.
Meanwhile, Brett Butler-Smythe brings the casual sexism (women handling fish? Never!), and a boast from Mergim Butaja that he wants to be “richer than Lord Sugar”.
And just think – there’s ten weeks of this glorious nonsense to come. Welcome back, The Apprentice – we’ve missed you.
BBC One, 9pm
