Former Tottenham forward Paul Stewart is among a number of ex-players to reveal the devastating impact of sexual abuse in a harrowing new BBC documentary airing on Monday night.
Episode one of Football’s Darkest Secret, a three-part series which begins at 9pm on BBC1, follows Stewart’s story from a happy and football-obsessed childhood in Wythenshawe to senior England recognition with Spurs.
Stewart, who came to prominence at Manchester City, was abused for four years by Nova Juniors youth coach Frank Roper, who is now dead, and reveals he went into “self-destruct mode” as a professional, turning to alcohol and drugs as coping mechanisms.
A talented and versatile player, Stewart helped Spurs to the 1991 FA Cup, scoring their first goal in a 2-1 win over Nottingham Forest at Wembley, but said he was unable to enjoy his career achievements.
“I had some highs in my career, but I never enjoyed them like everyone else did because I had this empty soul,” Stewart told Daniel Gordon’s documentary.
“I played a role that looked like [I] had everything going for [me] and didn’t have a worry in the world. I was one of the biggest jokers in the pack. Alone, I was dying, just dying inside.
“I masked it with drink towards the end of my career with Spurs and with drugs. I’d already started [taking] cocaine and ecstasy. I was in self-destruct mode. And then it carried on.”
Stewart was first named in Graham Taylor’s England squad for a friendly against Germany in 1991, making his debut alongside Paul Merson as a 67th-minute substitute.
He revealed he turned up drunk to his first team meeting with England and said he was taking cocaine “literally every day” by the time he joined
Liverpool for the 1992/93 season. “As early as I could remember, if you’d said to me I’d have been selected by England and played for them one day, I would have gone, ‘That’s all I ever want’,” Stewart said.
“I turn up drunk to the first meet that we had when I was selected. I played for England or being selected for England in the squad, and you turn up absolutely k-lined. What was I thinking?
“I look at the amount of games I played for Liverpool when I was going through my worst time — 26. When I signed for £2.5million, which was a lot of money back then, it was a dream come true. Little did everyone know I was literally doing cocaine every day. By then, I’d lost all that desire and love for football, but I still didn’t understand why I was in this self-destruct mode.
“It became very tiring over the years putting a mask on, which continued up to November 2016 [when the abuse scandal began to emerge].”
Last week, a damning 710-page report by Clive Sheldon QC revealed there had been 692 known survivors of child sex abuse in football and 240 suspects, but warned that “the actual level is likely to be far higher”. Sheldon’s inquiry found the FA guilty of “an institutional failure”. The governing body, Premier League and EFL have since apologised to survivors.
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